Tinder Guy with The White Car.

Tinder Guy with The White Car.

Giovanni stood outside of the library waiting. It was hot, as expected on a July afternoon in Valdosta, Georgia, but she didn’t have on shorts and that was the root of her problem. Instead, she had on jeans to hide her “chicken legs” which is what she’d grown up hearing her grandmother call them. “The women in this family got meat on they bones. Them chicken legs must come from your daddy them.” Giovanni rolled her eyes annoyed at the childhood insecurities that caused her to miserably wear jeans in the middle of summer. She enviously watched girls walk past her in booty shorts.

The reeve of a car engine drew Giovanni back from her thoughts. She started to ignore the noise, but then it happened again, and her gut knew it was for her. She turned slowly towards the noise, and saw a guy waving inside the white car. She considered turning around and going back inside but heard her best friend’s voice Give him a chance Gio. Giovanni sighed and walked to the car.

“You’re even more beautiful in person. I love your hair.” The guy said once she’d climbed inside the car. He smelled like onions. Giovanni considered asking if he’d just eaten but changed her mind. “Thank you.” She responded. The guy had on an American eagle polo with blue skinny jeans to match the blue logo. Giovanni grimaced. Give him a chance Gio.

“So where are we going?” Giovanni asked. She’d already let him know via messages that she wasn’t interested in doing anything too intimate, and she didn’t want to stray too far from campus. “I was thinking we could get some coffee?” He responded, and Giovanni smelled onions again. She forced a small smile as he looked over to her for approval, “That’s good.” She said louder than she intended. He smiled. “So, what do you think about my car?” The guy asked shamelessly. He didn’t even think that was lame, Giovanni thought. “Uhh, well I don’t know much about cars.” She said, “It’s very nice though.” She added once she saw the disappointed on his face. “Yeah it’s a….” Giovanni immediately tuned him out, looking out the window watching the campus pass by. Give him a chance Gio. Giovanni noticed he’d stopped talking, “That’s cool.” She added hoping that was the appropriate response. The guy smiled at her.

They grabbed their coffees and Giovanni headed to the tables. “You want to sit in my car?” He asked, and she shrugged following him to his car. “So how do you pronounce your name?” He started. Like most men did. “Gee-oh-von-nee.” Giovanni said slowly, sipping her coffee. Maybe the coffee smell will overpower his onion breath. She thought hopefully. “What’s your name again?” She asked watching him take a long sip of his iced caramel latte. He told her, but she forgot again.

After talking about college majors and hobbies, Giovanni sensed the guy beginning to get comfortable. He started to tell her about his last relationship. “I was ready to make her my wife. Give her my last name. Buy her a home. But then she cheated on me.” He shared, “But that’s when I bought Tiffany.” He glanced over at Giovanni’s confused face. “My car, that’s her name. Tiffany.” “Oh, that’s nice.” Giovanni responded. He continued to talk. He filled the car with onions. Giovanni rolled down her window.

“What’re you looking for? You are looking for something serious?” He asked Giovanni after talking for ten minutes straight. “Uhh..I mean no. Not really. I don’t know.” She said uneasily. The date was obviously going better in his mind. She was ready to go. “I don’t like undecisive women.” He responded, surprising Giovanni with his boldness. She didn’t respond. She didn’t care what he liked. “But maybe I’ll over look that since you’re so beautiful and your hair is so pretty.” He said, reaching for one of her curls. Giovanni leaned away abruptly. “Hey, I actually need to get back to campus. Uhh, my mom needs me. She works on campus.” Giovanni said.

They let the music play the entire ride back which Giovanni was thankful for. It wasn’t even that long of a ride, but it felt like forever. The guy had rolled down the windows so that the students walking by could look inside. Luckily, no one did.

“Well, it was nice to meet you.” Giovanni said stepping out of the car. The guy rushed out to her side and took her into a hug. Lingering a little longer than necessary. Giovanni pulled away. “Yeah, just like hit me up.” He responded, like he’d rehearsed these words in his mind before saying them. “I had fun, beautiful. And again, I love your hair.” He said, reaching over to grab her butt. “What the fuck?” Giovanni yelled, pushing him off her. His eyes widened. “I’m sorry—uh—I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you. I thought it was okay. It was a joke. I’m sorry.” He stumbled. Giovanni turned red. “Why the fuck would you do that you fucking creep?” She said and stomped away.

Later she received a text from the guy apologizing for misreading her. I thought you would know it was a joke, he said. I just want you to know that I still really enjoyed you and I think you are beautiful. Your hair is so amazing. Giovanni typed Fuck you but then erased it. “It’s a wig.” She responded instead, and blocked his number.



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